Tuesday, August 08, 2006

F**king Hummer Commercial!



I've seen this freaking Hummer commercial a bunch of times but today, at the end of a long list things that have irritated me today, and even after getting in a late gym workout (late because my underarmor pants were dirty, so I had to do laundry to get a clean pair to even hit the gym, but I digress)... Anyway, let's end this unending run on sentence and begin anew...

The commerical I refer to goes like this: A woman is with her son at the park and he is next in line to use a slide or some such thing. Another boy cuts in front of her son and begins his turn on the slide (or whatever). Mom explains to the rude boy's mother that her son was next in line. Mom two (a republican, I would guess), replies "Well, now my son is next" (I enjoy the subtext of 'What you gonna do about it, bitch?' Anyway, Mom number one's response is only logical. Buy a huge Hummer so no one will ever push your son around again. WTF!!!.... You might as well pull out any of the metaphor for the bigger, most powerful vehicle, and cut to the chase... tell Mom #1, the play by the rules mom, that the only real hope for success in this country is to play hardball... why not encourage her to buy an AK-47, the gun for when, as Samuel Jackson says in Jackie Brown " When you absolutely, positively, gotta kill every
motherfucker in the room, accept no substitute." (Jackie Brown, 1997)

4 comments:

Woody said...

Actually, it's Mom #1 who gets pushed around by Mom #2. Mom #1 is just as wrong - she is a wuss. I mean, someone bullies you and you respond by buying a big, expensive car. Basically, she should have done one of two things:

1) The liberal dove in me says that she should have used it as a way to discuss with her son that some people have no manners, are a$$holes, and you have to be a better person and deal with them.

2) The liberal hawk in me (and this is what I would have done, really) would be to punch Mom #2 in the face and use that as a forum to tell your son that sometimes in life you need to stand up for yourself. It's never good to fight - but if you have to, make sure you win.

Now, that incident is not enough to provoke #2, I admit, and I'd like to say I'd be big enough to do #1. But, unfortunately, I'm a hot head.

In any event, Mom #1 is pathetic. We don't live in La-la land. We live in the real world. If people walk all over you, you don't stand there and take it like a biatch.

BTW - there is another similar commercial where a metro guy (like me) is at a grocery store buying tofu and another big manly man is behind him buying ribs. He then buys a Hummer to restore his manhood. Dweeb.

Nikolai94 said...

I hate Hummers (the vehicle) and the people that drive them. Is there a bigger way to say "I am better than you"? Maybe with a Lamborghini. In these days of $3.00 for a gallon of gas, it is ridiculous to have a Hummer. Basicly these people don't care about the reality of life on this planet, the environment, their own pocket-book, or any se4nse of sound investing. This is simply the "I'm better than you vehicle," and Hummer is capitalizing on that shallow and petty image. As Andre Agassi once said, "Image is everything." This is true, to people that have no real substance or depth. Remember, at the end of the rat race, you're still a rat! BTW I try to key one Hummer a month for my own joy!

Da Old Man said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Da Old Man said...

Hummer means "I have a really small penis" in Albanian.

But, when a woman says it, it is loosely translated as "I am lower than the lint in an earthworm's navel."

Thought I'd clear that up for you.