Thursday, December 04, 2008

A trio of Douchebags (and an outstanding RU win)

Ah, I am feeling kind of cranky tonight, (except for the Rutgers football team up 63-7, ensuring a nice bowl bid, their 4th in a row) = more on that tomorrow.

So quickly, here are today's 3 douchebags, specifically from the world of sports.

First up is surly, whiny bitch Plaxico Burress. Owner of a superbowl ring, an enormous contract, and the love of a city for his performance in the amazing Super Bowl run for the NY Giants last year. Of course, Plax is always unhappy, fined 40-50 times in his 3(!) years with the Giants, and now gone from the team. Why. Not for being a lousy employee, missing meetings, treatments, practices, or dogging it on the field. Oh no, the Giants were willing to coddle poor Plax, since we can all understand how tough it is to be a 31 year old multimillionaire. Oh, boo fucking hoo. Worse is articles like this one...

which basically want us to pity Plax for growing up on the mean streets, struggling to get by. Hey, news flash, douchebag.. the mothefucker is 31, not 13. At what point does this guy look in the mirror and say "hey, I am a really talented dude. I can get a college education, develop as a human being, play in the NFL, and make millions before I turn 40, then have the rest of my life to chill" How fucking hard is that? From where I sit, not hard at all. Way to go, Plax, piss on your talent, your opportunity, your future. I originally thought that this man doesn't deserve prison, because shooting ones self is stupid, not criminal, but the more I read and think about this I realize that this man (?) needs to get smacked upside his head, maybe even in prison, since the 50 suspensions made no difference.

UP next is good old douchebag Steve Avery. Just look at this asshole. He's such a dick he has me commenting on Hockey! His most recent dick move... calling his ex girlfriend "sloppy seconds" since she no longer dates him but is apparently dating a teammate. Of course, in typical classless fashion, he said this to the media, thus punking out his teammate and his ex. What a dick! I've written about him before and nothing changed. A cattle prod up his anus would only be the tip (get it?) of what this guy needs, and maybe after a decade of special treatment he may emerge as a passable human being.

Note: Elisha Cuthbert played a really stupid character, (Kim Bauer on 24), but that is no excuse for dating this asshole. Come on Elisha, get it together!

Finally, Stephon Marbury. Really, just go away. You've burned through 4 teams in 11 years. YOu make 21 million dollars per year. You're 31 yrs. old. You couldn't play well with Kevin Garnett, one of the classiest players in the NBA. You wore sneakers that said ALL ALOne while with the Nets. The Suns got rid of your sorry ass and became a great team, while you moved on and helped the KNicks to become an NBA embarassment. You couldn't get along with one of the greatest coaches in all of the NBA, Larry Brown. You then couldn't get along with another arrogant douchebag who supposedly was your greatest cheerleader in Isiah "no class and I like to harass women" Thomas, and now the Knicks just want you to go away. Y ou've let down everyone in your life, most importantly yourself. Just jump off a fucking bridge, please.