Monday, March 31, 2008

You Can't Fight Crazy Starring Today's Douchebag

Well, boys and girls, I almost wasn't here tonight to leave you all this post, and it all began this morning , on my way into work. I was driving to my office, coming down the small side street (speed limit 25) and had stopped to make the left turn into the parking lot. This particular side street has a small business that often uses a pretty large delivery truck, and often the truck has to pull across the street into a parking lot, then back into the delivery space. It's a bit of an inconvenience if you are on the side street, because you have to wait for the truck and while he backs up he blocks both sides of the street. The street itself is a basic 2 lane street; you're either in one lane or you in the other lane. This isn't some super highway (or even the garden state parkway, with 4 or 5 lanes and constant shifting.) It's also important to note that the turn into the parking lot must be taken wide, because the entranceway is narrow and the cars exiting the lot often exit with their car placed in the middle of the entrance, thus blocking the person trying to turn in. I've found it's best to make a wide left to allow as much room as possible.

OK, so I am making my left turn, blinker on, no vehicles coming towards me, and the truck that was in the road pulled into the lot across from his loading dock and parked. I begin my turn, and immediately hear a horn blaring!! I stop immediately, basically on pure reaction time, and see a car come barreling down past me on my left! In case I haven't made this clear, that means the car went around me, into the oncoming traffic lane, and blew by me in an attempt to shoot through before I make my turn! Shocked, (and pleased this maniac hadn't smashed into my drivers side door at 50 mph) I honk back and turn into my office parking lot, somewhat shaken. I noticed that the car slammed on it's brakes and had a very strong feeling it was going to turn around and come back into my lot. Wouldn't you know it, that's exactly what it did. A blocky looking woman (term used loosely) jumped out of the car and approached me. I rolled down my window and asked "What's Up?. She approached my car screaming "What's wrong with you?" (Me?) " You're crazy, what's wrong with you" --

"I was making a left hand turn"

"Why don't you look in your mirror?"

There was a lot more ranting on her part, but the mirror comment just blew me away. I realized I was dealing with a crazy individual. I don't mean that as a joke. The way her mind worked, asking why I didn't look in my left hand mirror to make a left turn... when the only other lane is oncoming. I don't need a mirror to see oncoming traffic, cunt! I guess in her world if a cylinder of concrete dropped from a plane in the sky and crushed me it would be my fault for not looking upward. I tried to point out that if police were there I don't think she would be able to convince them that speeding in the wrong lane of oncoming traffic and trying to pass a car making a left turn, blinker on, and crashing into them would bode well with her, but she stopped me at police with a very spanish "Oh, don't you talk about police, I got family in police" (Wow, I feel safer already)

Anyway, I ended the conversation by telling her that I was indeed crazy, if that helps her get through her day. That seemed to make her happy, and she went off to endanger the rest of the world. I wish I could say unbelievable, but sadly it really isn't. The only way to really make the world safer would be for her to no longer exist, and that power is far beyond me. One can really only hope.


Kate said...

Crazy effing bitch.

Da Old Man said...

Glad it wasn't more serious. Ever notice the crazier the stunt, the more likely one is to proclaim loudly how right they were?