So Tell Me, Evil Empire Fans, is it still early?

An MLB season runs 162 games. Throw the 2 off the end and it's easy to break the season down into ten segments of 16 game each. The Yankees have played 48 game, basically 30 percent of their season. Their record is 21-27, 6 games under .500. 12 1/2 behind the best team in baseball, the Boston Red Sox. Hell, the empire is 7 1/2 games behind Detroit for the Wild Card. What's the sound? Oh, it's just the death star exploding as this Arrogant empire of overpaid, overpraised, whiners cries. Oh, boo hoo, Abreu, that ball was outside? How do you explain the rest of your pitiful season. - hey, Mr. April (a.k.a. A-Hole), has anyone mentioned that you're batting avg. dropped under .300. - Torre, drop the green tea, drink a coffee, and show a fucking heartbeat. The most telling sign for me is that "The captain", the man of Mike Kay and John Sterlings wet dreams, has failed to come up big twice in the last few days. I was even shocked, because as a Red Sox fan I have the utmost respect for Jeter. My only criticism of him was that last year he could have put team first and spoke out in support of A-Hole, but he chose to remain silent. Not exactly the leadership, or as Big Stein likes to say, "the Yankee way."

BTW, my disgust for Mikey Kay shot back up again during yesterday's game, when he proclaimed the Yankees "the embodiment and most important example of american sports.... so a team with an overpaid loser (A-Hole), admitted steriods and amphetamine abuser (Giambi), and an enormous economic advantage over everyone else, is the embodiment of America? Playing like losers.... well, in a country run by G.Dubya, maybe Mikey's on to something there?

Darth rallies some new BLOOD

So what exactly does a soulless physical embodiment of evil say at a commencement ceremony for the future leaders of our great countries military forces? Remember, Dick is a proud recipient of 5 military deferments, never quite finding the stomach and balls to match his patriotic rhetoric. (Rhetoric he long ago learned could be spun into profit by selling weapons to anyone and everyone, including both Sadam Hussein and Osama bin Laden. ) I suspect he said something like this:

Dick " Hello, future cannon fodder. It pleases me to see some of this countries best and brightest, many from families with multiple generations of men and women who have served. - I have the greatest appreciation for your willingness to accept your place in the food chain, serving as foot soldiers to advance the economic fortunes of the more important people. Those such as myself, my employee... er, I mean, boss George, and my many friends at Haliburton. Our profiteering could not continue without the support of you all, and I implore you to be fruitful and multiply, for your descendants can also serve my needs... You ask me if I have a God Complex... I AM GoD!!!! (An aide whispers into Cheney's ear, "sir, that's from Malice."

Cheney "What"
Aide " That's from Malice"
Cheney "Are you saying I'm speaking with Malice... it's Abu Gahrib time for you, punk"
Aide, (shaken) - no, sir. I'm talking about the movie, Malice. Alec Baldwin

4 men in full black regalia approach, masks over their faces. They take the aide by the arm and escort him away.

Cheney "Perhaps some waterboarding and sexual humiliation will straighten you out." - A gleam enters Darth Cheney's eyes, and he begins rubbing his hands together. - " I wonder if I still have those contacts the Duke gave me. (Duke Cunningham, one of the countless corrupt cronies associated with this regime"


As always, this is a work of fiction, in case Alberto Gonzales has his Goebbels like crews out combing for anything "unpatriotic".

"It is the duty of the patriot to protect his country from the government" - Thomas Paine

Nice While it Laste, Huh Evil Empire fans?

Well yankee fans, that was a nice day there being less than 10 games back, huh? So now after getting clobbered by the Angels, and the best team in baseball (yes Marc, the best record means they are the best team, pretty basic, really) beats Texas, with Dice-K, the Monster, gutting out 5 wins and earning his league tying 7th win (joining soon to come off the DL teammate Josh Beckett and his perfect 7-0 record), and now the Yankees are 10 1/2 back.... again. I would have to favor the Angels today, with the pitching match up favoring them (Kelvin Escobar, 5-2 with a 2.82 ERA vs. Wang (3-3, 4.28 ERA). Add in a Red Sox win and we are closing in on a nice 12 game lead... but I know, Yankee fans, it's early, it's early. I'll tell you what's going to be early; the end of your season, while your overpaid, arrogant players sit and watch the Red Sox battle their way to the World Series and gain some long overdue payback by beating the N.Y. Mets!

Back Where (you) Started

As the Kinks sang, "here we go round again". The Yankees are right back to 10 1/2 back and a loss tonight to yankee killer Curt Schilling and they will be on the cusp of a 12 game deficit. Ah, the finest team that MLB's unfair spending rules will allow, well over 200 million now that Rocket is coming. Quick math - yanks are currently spending about 10 million bucks per win - plus how nice to watch Jeter watch the called 3rd strike. Red Sox magic number - 108.

Crush the Empire!

Why exactly does Jeter have a gold glove?

So the evil empireis like a writhing beast from the bowels of hell, a Lovecraftian horror with 6 heads and razor sharp teeth. However, the beast is wounded, and it's time to take the Louisville Sluggers to their remaining heads, leaving a pulpy mess of money colored ooze in the stadium.

Iowa, Baby!!!

So here I am, day 3 in lovely Iowa. The following is a brief recap of the previous 2 days and the agenda for today and tomorrow. - Apologies in advance for the gleeful thoughts that continue to press through my brain and out my fingers (10 back!).

We flew out here on Thursday for my sister-in law Coleens' wedding on Saturday. The travel itself went pretty well... no delays, both flights were smooth (yeah, there is no direct flight into Des Moines International airport, which begs the question, What international airport has almost no direct flights?, but anyway. After a long travel day, my wife decided to attend her sisters bachelorette party on Thursday, (which consisted of herself, sister, and mom!) - There was a brief tiff because I had hoped someone would pick my wife up, since we had just spent the entire day travelling, but I forgot for a second the people we are dealing with.
I decided to unwind and get some food, and the best I could find was a Bennigan's. A couple of Blue Moons and a nice tasty fried chicken salad and I was feeling better. It didn't hurt that the bartender was a Red Sox fan, and we enjoyed chatting about the evil empire being 9 1/2 back at the time. (Every day seems to add to the deficit, this is truly a wonderful time to be a REd Sox Fan/Yankee Hater. Lucky for the Yanks the Sox were rained out yesterday, or else it could be 10 1/2!

Yesterday I had most of the day to myself and I sort of confirmed a revelation i've arrived at... I like time to myself, a lot. It was nice to just ride around, relax, read, walk around the local (and very depressing ) mall. I found an Applebees for lunch (eating good in the neighborhood, indeed) and the only negative was the number of work phone calls I received. Suffice to say, a bunch of shit blew up, and I found myself sipping a tall Killians in the back, closed of section of Applebees talking with my boss at work, trying to fix the situation. (Maybe details later but probably not. I am not a big talk about work kind of guy)

Last night was the rehearsal dinner and that was decent. Spent most of the time talking with the "minister", a heavyset but very amiable 30 year old Iowa farm dude who obtained his ministry qualifications via internet. - oh yeah, the fun was beginning. I saw my brother in law, Mike, and that was cool. - Later we went back to the house of my sister in law and her hubbie to be and my old friend Greenie was there. It was a nice surprise, after our separation on Thursday. I told him he couldn't fly with me and promised him I would return Sunday, but he showed up anyway.!

(28-12, Red Sox on pace for approximately 112 wins - of course that won't happen, but right now with the evil empire 4 games under .500 I feel, very, very good.) Hell, the worst team 200 million bucks can buy is 6 1/2 behind the wild card leading detroit tigers, and the Sox just swept them, while missing out stud pitcher beckett.)

* Correction, I forgot about the Wafefield loss to Detroit, the Sox didn't sweep that series. However, since my last post that mentioned the amount of series (13 ) the Sox had played at that point, they have now won 2 more series, Balt. and Det. - that makes 9 of 15 series played have been won.

* 1:45 Iowa time - Red sox beating the snot out of the Atlanta Braves 7-0 in the 5th inning, well on their way to another win, and a 10 1/2 game lead on the evil empire!!! - If the Mets take care of business tonight the deficit hits 11.

Red Sox Keep Rollin!!!

Oh, By the Way, the Red Sox win..... Again. 3 in a row, 8 out of 10. An 8 1/2 game lead on the evil empire. A winning percentage over .700. How sweet it is.

In other news, I'm staring down the barrel of a stressful week . Tomorrow is probably going to be a stressful day at work, one that will likely run until 7:00. My wife and I are flying to Iowa on Thursday for her sister's wedding, and I am not a fan of flying. However, I accept the fact that flying is a necessary component of modern living, and it would be foolish to refuse to use it as an option. - The doctor has yet to fill my request for something to take the edge off the flight, (which they had provided once before, last time I flew) So ironically, I am stressing about obtaining the thing which could help me relax. - So the Iowa trip starts after an all day travel day on Thursday, we hit Friday. Could be a decent day for me since my sole responsibility that day is to be at the rehearsal dinner with my wife. Otherwise, it's a day for me to take in Des Moine!!! - Yeah - Saturday wedding, Sunday get the hell out of dodge. Monday could be a decompression sick day, still undecided.

Red Sox Winning Series

I am a big believer in the marathon aspect of a MLB season, which is why I am reluctant to get too high or drop too low based on small parts of the season. Consistency is the key, and as my good friend Woodman (evil empire fan, unfortunately, but a great guy nonetheless) are big believers in the philosophy of just winning series. Most MLB series are between 2-4 games, so the key is to never get swept and to win as many series as possible. With that in mind, here is a very optimistic look at the Sox, based on the first 20 percent of the season.

Boston has played 13 series so far. They won 9 of them, including sweeps over the Angels, Yankees, Baltimore, Seattle and Toronto. The Red Sox have split 2 series (Seattle and Oakland) and they have only lost 2 series, to Texas and a sweep to Toronto (prior to B.J. Ryan going down for the season) - This is great consistency, and with the best pitching staff in the majors (especially the starting pitching - 4 Quality starters: Schilling, Beckett (7-0) , Dice-K, and Tim Wakefield (best ERA in the AL). Thrown in Papelbon, and the return shortly of Jon Lester and I don't see this team dropping into any kind of long term losing streak. They have the wunderkid Jonathen Papelbon coming out as their stopper.

Red Sox Winning Series

I am a big believer in the marathon aspect of a MLB season, which is why I am reluctant to get too high or drop too low based on small parts of the season. Consistency is the key, and as my good friend Woodman (evil empire fan, unfortunately, but a great guy nonetheless) are big believers in the philosophy of just winning series. Most MLB series are between 2-4 games, so the key is to never get swept and to win as many series as possible. With that in mind, here is a very optimistic look at the Sox, based on the first 20 percent of the season.

Boston has played 13 series so far. They won 9 of them, including sweeps over the Angels, Yankees, Baltimore, Seattle and Toronto. The Red Sox have split 2 series (Seattle and Oakland) and they have only lost 2 series, to Texas and a sweep to Toronto (prior to B.J. Ryan going down for the season) - This is great consistency, and with the best pitching staff in the majors (especially the starting pitching - 4 Quality starters: Schilling, Beckett (7-0) , Dice-K, and Tim Wakefield (best ERA in the AL). Thrown in Papelbon, and the return shortly of Jon Lester and I don't see this team dropping into any kind of long term losing streak. They have the wunderkid Jonathen Papelbon coming out as their stopper.

Poor, Pathetic Yankees!

Woh, baby, the Yanks are definitely.... not quite back!! After 1 whole day at .500, the 200 million dollar team that couldn't now find themselves getting waxed by the Rangers! The 8th started at 6-2, went to 10-2, and then Sean (I've been henpecked today) gave up a grand slam, and the Yanks drop right back to 1 game under 500, while the BoSox start tonight's game with a chance to go up 7 games on the Yankees. - Sweet!!!

Rocket, the Sox, and hotmail

So okay, the rocket goes theatrical with the announcement he is returning to the evil empire. Well over 25 million for Roger, and the evil empires' salary now rolls over to 220 million. (Surprise, surprise, yankee problem met with more cash. Don't get me wrong, as a huge fan of the BoSox, I aso wanted Roger. There are a million things I can't stand about Roger, including his arrogance, his attempt to kill Mike Piazza, his lack of integrity, and his self aggrandizement. However, I will say this; I would have loved to have Roger on the Sox. What makes me happy here is that the evil empire, whose arrogance knows no bounds, has finally torn down the last vestige of their perceived superiority. they are giving Rocket whatever the hell he wants, and if this means the Yanks will be a team of 24 + Roger instead of a team of 25, so be it. The precedent has been set now, and I can't wait for the first major league talent who decides he will play for the Yankees, if they'll let him have long hair , a beard, sideburns, and whatever the hell else he wants. I don't care if players have these rights, I just like seeing the Yankees realize they will have to concede some arrogance in order to win.

Red Sox are 20-10, second best record in the league to the Brewers. I'll take our chances in a series with Ben Sheets and the Brewcrew!

Mariano Rivera blows another save, how freakin sweet. Yanks drop game 1 of the first official game played in the NY Yankee Roger Clemens era PT II!


I can't sign into my freakin email and it's really pissing me off!

Fun With Numbers

The Boston Red Sox have the best record in baseball right now at 19-9. The Evil Empire (aka NY Yankees) are 13-15, and that's after a win today following last night's debacle (Colter Bean, anyone?). The Yankees are 6 games back of the Sox and behind 5 other teams for the wildcard. How F'in sweet that is right now. Sure, I could post how at how over 17 pct. of the season has been played. Almost a fifth, and the Yanks are still under .500. Sure, no big deal, but at what point does it become a big deal? 1/3 of the way through (halfway to that point already). Fun to watch as a Sox fan.

What Up

What up? - Haven't checked in for a few days, and as is often the case, I have to point the finger of blame at Mr. Green. - However, he has been a blessing lately, helping me to cope with my increased frustration over the continued debacle that is the Iraq War. The decider in chief vetoed the congressional war spending bill, not because the money wasn't approved but because the congress including such unreasonable demands as an end point. (Hint, most of us are onto you guys, this never ending war stuff has rewarded you all handsomely, but eventually even enough of the sheeple catch on.



Anyway, lots more to talk about, including a possible attempt to push myself into a 36 day self improvement routine. Hmmm, I wonder what mr. green thinks - I might have to ask him.